LOVE ON THE BOX. BY SANDRA HARRIS.

 

LOVE ON THE BOX.

BY SANDRA HARRIS.

Oh. My. God. I'm down a right rabbit hole now and no mistake. And, this time, it's not an Internet rabbit hole but a Netflix one. Let me explain.

I watched Love Island UK as usual this summer, as I have done for the last few years. This summer in particular, it helped take my mind off the unbearable heat that seemed to go on forever.

I was genuinely scared at one point that it was never going to rain again; here in Ireland, two months without rain is unthinkable and has literally never happened before. If it happens again, and keeps happening, I don't see how we all can survive it.

I'm not even a climate alarmist, by the way, truly I'm not. It's just you've no idea how much Ireland and rain go together, like bacon and eggs, like Cagney & Lacey, like spice-bag and a few cans of Guinness. To have two months without rain as an Irish person was like living through the end of days.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, Love Island UK. It also distracted me from all the endless bad news being beamed into our home every day and night by the various media. 

Never-ending wars, wildfires, all the climate-related natural disasters, corruption here, there and everywhere and crime, crime, crime, each one worse and more horrifying than the last.

Then, of course, Love Island UK came to an end, as all good things do, and usually August is then a period of enjoying the last of the summer and looking forward to autumn, Halloween- my favourite time of year- and then, eventually, Christmas.

Maybe the events of this year, and in particular this summer, were just too traumatic, because my mind decided, independently of me, nope, the era of love-based reality TV shows will not end yet!

I started to watch Love Island USA, which was being teased by the television station as the UK version was ending. Yes, Americans are weird, and different to us, but this show, set in Fiji, had a bigger budget and their sets were fancier and more exotic and the contestants were much more open about having sex on the show, which was fun.

Rather than wait for an episode a night on TV, I learned how to stream the episodes and binge-watch them, much to the amusement of my kids, who know I struggle with changing the time on my little Blokia-type phone twice a year when the hour goes forward and then back...!

Anyway, long story short, when I'd watched the last episode of Love Island USA, my fragile brain still wasn't ready to face the real world without the anaesthetic of a new show to help dilute the horrors. Enter Love is Blind UK...

This show, which debuted in 2024 and is a spin-off of the American version, is pure mad! Described as a 'social experiment,' it's had three seasons so far- I'm starting at season one- and it's presented by real-life couple Matt (from Busted) and Emma Willis. Their appearances are minimal, though, and it was straight into the action, which was great.

Couples on the show have 'dates' with each other by sitting in separate little spaces called 'pods.' They can hear and chat to each other, but they can't see each other, neither are they allowed to describe their physical appearances. They only have the other person's voice and conversational skills to go on.

After only a few short conversations, the men can 'propose' marriage to the women of their choice. Down on one knee and everything. If the woman accepts, they get to see each other in person. That's where things can go tits-up.

You get the distinct feeling that the guys all think they're talking to leggy blonde supermodels just because someone has a sexy or appealing voice. When those doors open and the woman they're supposed to marry for real on the show is revealed, they're clearly not allowed to say anything negative but you can tell when they're disappointed and it's horrible to watch.

Then six 'engaged' couples all jet off to Corfu for a holiday. The couples who are genuinely attracted to each other all have rumpy-pumpy in the sun, sea and sand. The couples who are not into each other in that way all talk about how it's better to wait and sex is only a small part of being in a relationship anyway...

It's excruciating to watch but also compulsive, like the way you can't look away from a car crash. It's horrible to see the women who are found 'wanting' by the men eat themselves alive with insecurity, feeling unworthy because they're not all leggy blonde supermodels.

Isn't life hard enough without putting yourself through this ordeal on live television for everyone to see? Still, I guess no-one put a gun to their heads and forced them onto the show. They're there by their own free choice and they kind of have to roll with it.

It's especially agonising as there's a couples' reunion at this stage and the men can see the women they turned down- or who rejected them- and compare them to the woman they actually chose, a choice at least one of them is now clearly regretting. He's behaving like a spoiled brat, in fact, and badly upsetting his 'fiancee.'

Next stop is London as the six couples, including the one obviously unhappy pair, move into fancy apartments for a period of time to see how they get on living together.

One man, a PR and advertising consultant, lets it slip that he considers his 'fiancee's' job of make-up artist to be beneath him and not good enough for any fiancee of his. 

Luckily, this woman is feisty and she lets him have the sharp end of her tongue. Good for her! And the absolute cheek of him, the same guy who told her her 'boobs looked great' when he saw her for the first time... Mr. Deep & Meaningful much...?

That's as far as I've watched, but apparently the next steps involve meeting each other's friends and families and then actually under-going what I assume to be a real wedding ceremony.

I can't wait to see who actually goes through with it. I'm also guessing some people thought this was an outrageous way to treat the sacrament of marriage...

Anyway, no matter who blows up whom or sets whom on fire or threatens whom in the next few days and weeks, my head will be firmly in the sand watching Love is Blind UK. And there are two more seasons after this one...