CORONATION STREET FOR OLD CHARLIE BOY... FINALLY! BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

CORONATION STREET . . . FINALLY!

BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

Oh wow. It’s done. The crown is on the head. Charles, formerly the Prince of Wales, has just been crowned the King of England. It’s a gig he’s waited for his whole life, but Mumsie, Queen Elizabeth the Second, was a bit of a throne hog and didn’t relinquish that coveted hot seat until she literally passed away in September 2022.

I always thought she’d retire in good time, pass the crown onto her first-born and then keep a maternal eye on him for a year or two, see what kind of a fist he made of it, always ready with a golden nugget of maternal wisdom should his steps falter. But no, like I said, Mumsie hogged that throne with the grim determination of my kids elbowing their way into the best couch seats when the good telly starts of a Saturday night.

I was watching one of those Sky News phone-in shows during the week, where common folks like you and me were invited on to air their views about Charles and the coronation in conjunction with a live panel. I was surprised that so many callers seemed happy for Charles and thrilled skinny about his big day, which they fully intended to watch on television and support.

Okay, well, there’s a cost-of-living crisis in England at the moment, just like there is in Ireland, in which genuinely poor people have to choose between heating and eating, but okay. These good folks are perfectly happy for one of the most privileged blokes in the world to become not only more privileged, but also to spend an obscene amount of dosh on one of the most vulgar, ostentatious displays of wealth the world has ever seen. Is it in the best of taste to parade- literally- such riches in front of people who are struggling to keep their heads above water in an economic recession? These callers seem to think it's all fine and dandy, so who am I to protest?

How best might all that money have been spent, is a question that came up on the show at one point. Even Jennie Bond, for many years a top Royal correspondent, suggested some of it could have been spent in reparations for the throne’s involvement in the slave trade and colonialism, back in the good old days when England slapped a padlock on half the globe and tried to interest it in tea, cucumber sandwiches and tiny cakes at four o’clock every afternoon.

I can think of a couple of excellent humanitarian uses for that money myself. Give it to President Zelenskyy of Ukraine to help him fight this awful war that Russia forced on him. People in Yemen are starving to death. We had the Turkish earthquake at the start of the year and, late last year, Pakistan was flooded. A whopping third of it was under water. Don’t tell me that these extremely worthy causes couldn’t use a few quid at times like these.

Some other callers still seemingly resented Charles for having cheated on Diana, probably the most popular member of the royal family ever, all those years ago. For this reason, they don’t accept Camilla as their Queen and think that she shouldn’t be allowed the title of Queen, but only Queen Consort. Well, Diana was a well-loved figure, after all.

Speaking of popularity polls, Prince Andrew was at the very bottom of the list with minus fifty-five percent of the vote. Minus, mark ye. Only slightly more popular than him was Meghan, with minus twenty-seven percent, and only slightly more popular than her was her hubby Harry, with minus twenty-two percent. Hey, the people have spoken.

I’ve just heard the Sky News commentator on the coronation refer to Charles’ and Camilla’s association as ‘a fifty-year love story, a love story that nearly never was.’ Way to romanticise what some people feel was the pair’s shocking and shoddy treatment of the young Diana back in the day. Charles did cheat on his children’s mother with Camilla, after all, or is it no longer good taste to mention that fact?

I’ve also just watched a newly-crowned Charles parade down the aisle of Westminster Abbey with the crown on his bonce, the orb in his left hand and the sceptre in his right. All the trappings, all the bells and whistles are certainly in place today.

I suppose you can’t really blame him for wanting the full day out. After all, he waited long enough for it and a lot of people will enjoy watching the spectacle of the whole shebang, the pomp and ceremony, and the feeling that they’re seeing first-hand a piece of history in the process of being made. I'm watching it myself for more or less those exact reasons.

Speaking for myself, though, I just wonder if it’s a bit tone-deaf of the royals to insist on staging this massive bunfight when there’s so much trouble in the world, and hungry people even in their own supposedly first world country. (There are a few anti-royal protestors out and about in London today, but they will doubtless be crushed like bugs if they stick their necks out.)

 I also question the relevance of a monarchy in this day and age, and I resent fiercely the implication that some people are better than others, better than you and me, simply because they were born into a rich, privileged family that can trace its ancestors back to Adam and Eve.

Ah well. It’s done now, and time will no doubt be the judges of King Charles and Queen Camilla, as it has judged all of their forebears. Enjoy the rest of your coronation day, my English friends, and it’s to be hoped that you all get a paid day off work off the back of it.